How To Co-Parent With A Toxic Ex

Benefits of a Positive Co-Parenting Relationship

As a parent who would do anything to help your child, one of the hardest things you might face is having to maintain a healthy co-parenting style for the sake of your child. After all, children who grow up witnessing a positive relationship between their parents have been shown to benefit from it by feeling more confident and secure. This means that they tend to have better self-esteem and adjust better to changing situations, like moving between mom and dad’s houses. 

When children get to see their parents negotiating, co-parenting can also encourage better problem-solving skills. Children who grow up with parents who co-parent positively tend to have more emotional and mental stability. When kids are exposed to conflict or toxic behaviors between their parents, they are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, ADHD, or other similar illnesses. 

Although positive co-parenting is the ideal scenario, we understand it may not be possible in all situations. If you’re dealing with a toxic co-parent, keeping yourself and your children safe should be your main priority. Contact Campbell Law today to learn more about what options you have should a positive co-parenting experience cease to exist.

Tips for Co-Parenting With a Toxic Ex

Navigating a relationship with an uncooperative co-parent can be extremely difficult. Nobody wants to be in this kind of situation. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of tips that should help make interactions easier and improve communication between you and your ex.

Put Your Kids First

If it’s possible, the best thing for your kids is to keep them separate from your negative relationship with your ex. Although it’s healthy, to be honest with your children, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed so as to prevent your child from getting in the middle of a toxic situation. That includes leaving your kids out of parental arguments and not having them be a “messenger” between you and your ex. No matter how tempting, it’s also a good idea to refrain from speaking negatively about your ex in front of your kids.

Keep Your Agreement Clear

When making or renegotiating your parenting agreement, you should try and make things as clear as possible. Identify your boundaries, make a consistent plan, and decide how you both want your children to be raised. Don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations so you can mutually agree on a plan moving forward and determine off-limit activities to prevent potential disagreements in the future.

Limit Your Communication

After a divorce, you might be left wondering how often co-parents should communicate. Every situation is different, and depending on the age or state of mind of your children, you may need to communicate more, but the general answer is you shouldn’t need to communicate more than once a day or even every day. 

It’s important that you set boundaries with your communication. Unless you choose to, you don’t need to communicate with your ex about anything unrelated to your children. Limiting your communication to the present and near future is also a good idea because it minimizes how much needs to be communicated.

Keep Each Other in the Loop

While limiting communication is a good idea, keeping each other in the loop about things going on in your children’s lives is still important. It may be a good idea to share information such as doctor’s appointments and school activities to make sure you’re both aware of what’s going on. Doing this can help you avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications. 

Take Legal Action if Necessary

We have seen parents find great success with these helpful tips, but we understand that they might not be helpful in every situation. If you have attempted to navigate co-parenting with a toxic ex with no success, you may need to take more serious steps to get the help you and your child need. Trying to work with your ex is a good idea, but if you’re worried about the safety of you or your children, don’t be afraid to take legal action. A child custody attorney may be able to find a course of action that best fits your needs and represent you in court if necessary.

Contact a Child Custody Attorney

Co-parenting can be stressful and difficult, but that doesn’t mean it has to be that way. If both parents are committed to putting in the effort to maintain a comfortable relationship for the sake of their children, co-parenting can be a positive experience for everyone involved. 

If your ex is being an extremely difficult and toxic co-parent, there are steps you can take to help change your situation. If you try to improve your co-parenting relationship and issues persist, you should consider getting help from an attorney. A custody attorney may help you set goals and boundaries for your relationship, or, depending on your situation, they may help you modify your custody agreement. 

When dealing with a difficult co-parenting relationship, it’s important, for the sake of you and your children, that you find a way to remedy the situation as soon as possible. Jason Campbell has experience in all aspects of family law that may be beneficial to your situation. Contact us today to learn more about how we may be able to help you improve your co-parenting relationship.